7:58 19.5.08 - šuf
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Sameček se samičkou se pomalu přibližují a vzájemně druhého přesvědčují o svých genetických kvalitách. On předvádí mužné svalstvo a zlatý řetízky, ona staví na odiv své dokonale symetrické vnady zvýrazněné přesně podle tipů z časopisu .... Nebo .... On jí po nocích předčítá pod oknem poezii, ona předstírá nezájem, či dokonce spánek. I v rozumnější denní dobu s ním takřka nepromluví, neb testuje jeho vytrvalost, zakrývaje vlastní vnitřní muka. Zároveň ho však udržuje na dobré cestě tisícovkou nenápadných signálů. Vytrvale krouží kolem sebe, a udržují druhého v nejistotě. Je to náročná hra v níž oba předstírají že on je lovcem a ona obětí, i když ve skutečnosti .... Nebo .... O své přízni se budoucí milenci přesvědčují rafinovaně a nepřímo. S využitím všech dostupných moderních technologií si vyměňují spoustu zdánlivě nepodstatných informací, do nichž pečlivě ukrývají dvoj a trojsmysly, které jsou nezávazně nevinné a přitom tak jasně srozumitelné. Síla jejich vztahu graduje spolu s vyplýtvaným kreditem a časem, jejichž investice jest živoucím důkazem vzájemné náklonosti.Tak, to byly tři různý pohledy, který vám měly nastínit, jak jsem v pubertě viděl namlouvací rituály, a proč jsem se odmítal jich účastnit. Namlouval jsem si, že takový věci jsou pod mou důstojnost, a co víc pod důstojnost mých vysněných dívek, nebo spíš dokonalých andělských mrch, který jsem v nich viděl. Pod mojí důstojnost to možná bylo, ale pravej důvod mé zdrženlivosti byl mnohem prostší. Byl jsem posranej. A vlastně do dneška trochu jsem. Síla pubertálního libida je jak vidno mnohdy přeceňována, ne každýho první lásky doženou k zoufalým krokům, a né každý tim pádem už ve čtrnácti zjistí, že to je vlastně celkem v pohodě.
A tak jsem spolu s takovou polovinou stejně starých chlapců trpěl. Slečnám jež jsem tajně miloval, jsem se v praxi spíš vyhýbal a namlouval si, že jsou sice pěkný, ale že jsou to děsný husy o který vlastně nestojim. To by se vidělo, jak bych o ně nestál, kdyby projevily špetku zájmu :). Šťastnější polovina chlapců si procházela prvníma (dozajista) úžasnýma zkušenostma, a my hovno. O tom období se nerado mluví, píše, a spousta lidí včetně mě se za něj tak trochu stydí. Jó, kouzlo vzpomínek :)
A pak se to zlomilo. .. Kecam. Nic se nezlomilo, i když na lepší časy se nám tak po sedmnáctým roce blýskat začlo. Mohla za to náhoda, kamarád alkohol, nebo prostě jenom globální oteplování vztahů s holkama který tehdy tak nějak nastávalo všude kolem. Já počal ztrácet iluze o svojí důstojnosti nebo holky přestaly bejt takový husy? Kdo ví? Ale oukej, spolu s ostatními opozdilci (se ví že každej zvlášť) jsme taky získali nějaký ty prima nezapomenutelný zážitky, a bylo dobře.
Mimochodem, všechny holky co jsem kdy pořádně poznal se nakonec ukázaly bejt mnohem komplikovanější a tudíž zajímavější, než se zdálo na první pohled. Neni úplně jistý, zda jsem se prostě díky štěstí či podvědomým volbám vždycky nachomejtl k těm správnejm, nebo je prostě na světě míň hus než se od oka zdá. Každopádně je to dobrý.
A teď už hurá do přítomnosti!
No asi před tejdnem jsem totiž velmi opožděně překonal velký životní milník, a prvně v životě pozval dívku na rande. Děsně sympatickou! Chodíme spolu na jeden seminář. Teď už vím že se jmenuje Tara, je z Kanady a že je vdaná. To se mi ten milník teda vyved.
Jo, jen se smějte artyčokové. Je mi pouhých 23 let, a už takovej významnej krok jsem dokázal udělat. A kupodivu docela v pohodě. Prostě nikdy dřív na to nebyla příležitost, nebyla správná dívka, a hlavně nebyl morál. A teď byl. Leč mé dlouhé čekání se mi vymstilo. Než jsem našel odvahu žádat dívky o schůzku, ony se začly vdávat. No to mně poser, a to hádam s časem bude ještě horší.
Teda, měl to bejt článek jenom vo tom, ale co bych psal víc. Syrová realita týhle historky myslim stačí. Co se týče svádění dívek ze mě jak vidno žádný moudro nevypadne, ba ani nemůže. Konec.
Epilog:
Mým novým heslem je: "Když se to nehejbe, pořádně do toho šťouchni." V tomto duchu nyní sám sebe vychovávám k větší průraznosti, zdaleka nejen co se dívek týče. Jde to ztuha, zvyk je železná košile. Ale aspoň se něco děje, takže je to fajn :). I když je vdaná.
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